I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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