that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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