I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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