your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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