How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
