I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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