My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
