are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
