OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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