Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
