there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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