Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
