oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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