sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
