So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
