He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
