I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
