8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
