you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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