Whoa Z and x make the same sound
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
