Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We are two peas in an std pod
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
