Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
