: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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