"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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