used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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