My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
