My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
