here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
