I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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