Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
