you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
third nipple confirmed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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