Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
