I am in a vortex of obligation.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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