Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
