Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
