A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
