dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
