Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
