I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
