Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
