There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
