508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
