Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
