Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
