Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
