I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
