shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
