is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
