I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
