Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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