just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
