Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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