in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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